“I should always be happy, when something unhappy happens then that ruins everything”

A common irrational idea.

The process of happiness is a feeling that can be affected by several ways of thinking positivity. Our feeling of happiness can also be affected by our actions and thinking negative self defeating thoughts. By identifying these negative ways of thinking and redirecting our thoughts to the positive we can overcome a lot of unhappy situations. Below is an example of distorted thinking that can effect our happiness every day.

Should We Always Be Happy?

The answer is no and here is why. We have the ability to feel many different types of feelings. We get angry when we are mistreated for example. Proper anger helps us focus on the issue at hand at stand up for ourselves. We are sad when we have a loss of something or some one that is important to us. That is normal to feel a proper degree of sadness at loss. If we were always happy that would imply that nothing bad ever happens, it would be irrational to think that. We live in a imperfect situation and we can not control everything. But we all want to be happy so what is one strategy for reaching a happy state of mind even if we face difficulty?

A Strategy for Happiness,¬† Don’t Overgeneralize

Overgeneralizing is when we take one bad experience and generalize all experiences from then on into the same category. You start to believe that you can’t have a good experience. You expect a bad outcome so you may put forth little effort to accomplish your goals. Instead of giving up and getting depressed fight the situation by keeping a positive attitude and give everything your best shot. If you fail then fine, rather than being depressed and giving up, change your strategy and try again. No war has ever been won in a single battle. No house has ever been built with a single nail and no road to success has ever been paved with only one failure. We have to try time and again, changing our strategy or circumstances¬† every time and learning from each failure. In no time we can be an expert in any thing that we need to accomplish.

Don’t Take Failure Personally

Everyone fails, that is part of the learning process. Once we discover something that doesn’t work we devise a new plan or go back to the drawing board so to speak. Then we try something new. Is our real goal to accomplish some worthwhile difficult task or is it to never have a failure. If we wish to never have a failure then we will have to do nothing because any risk we take will be to much for us. No we shouldn’t mind failure because we haven’t really failed until we give up and quit trying.

Do Not Over Magnify Problems or Minimize Success

Perhaps you have encountered a problem on your project. Don’t let the problems become the project. Look for the successes, enjoy them, then take the problems one step at a time. Break big issues into little steps until you identify what is wrong and take appropriate action. There will always be hurdles to overcome when there is any worthwhile endeavor. Keep running, don’t give up when you come to a hurdle. When you meet up with a problem that you can’t solve, think about it for awhile to find a solution or cut it free and move on. You don’t need to drag your problems around in life, carry good things with you rather than bad.

Happiness Comes Only From The Outside, I Have No Control! Do I?

You are never powerless in your life. You may need to forgive others. You may need to forgive yourself. You may need to change your strategy. But you never need to be unhappy. Being unhappy makes you depressed and affects not only how much you can accomplish but also your health. Happiness is a feeling from within you. To defeat unhappy things stop and take a look around. What good things are happening. Are you looking forward to something happy? Is someone else being nice to you? Is it a beautiful day outside? Do you have good friends? There are always plenty of things that can make you happy. Concentrating on unhappiness will nullify all the happy things you have. Concentrating on good things will put the unhappy things into perspective so that you can tackle them and not be discouraged.

None of us can expect to be happy about everything that happens.¬† We can still be happy people because we have a lot to be happy about. Remember the road to success is paved with failure as well as success. Don’t give up on being happy and you have not failed!